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I Am A Great Sinner


Uzma Sadaf

I know I am a great sinner
I am very bad
So bad that you have deprived me
Of the art of apology even
My words have become so dumb
That they cannot rise for supplication
My tears have changed into stones
The eye sight has lost its reflection
The sky looks black
If I sit to write some thing
My fingers are paralyzed
I know there is nothing in my soul
Except darkness
I donít know how to remember You
Because I am a great sinner
My words are void of prayers
The hands have broken
And they are unable to carry
Even the begging bowl
Nothing has been left
O, God all of Your men have closed
All the windows and all the doors
From where ever I pass
They look to me with strange eyes
They stare at me and say
Some ambiguous words
My heart has become insensitive
It sees every thing in front of it
It sees the old friends changing their directions
And it laughs at me
I admit that I am a great sinner
Perhaps You are also fed up with me
Like Your creatures
And what is left with me?
Only the stories of the lost love
Some torn away pieces of papers
Some unfulfilled wishes
And a brow incapable of prostration
The eyes having no inclination to bend
What has been left with me
Other than the memory
That You have been annoyed with me
And my constant repentance over it
I know that I am a great sinner
But I shall keep on singing
Some songs of love
Some words of prayers!

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