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Stultifying
By
Tom Tannehill
We were lounging in the Moulon Rouge, a friend of mine and me
When into the bar walked an ever-lovin' drop dead Aphrodite.
She had a body you would die for from her head down to her toes
With deep blue eyes and luscious lips, and a cute lil' turned up nose.
My buddy's approach to this fair-haired queen was suave and debonair
And with the interchange of pleasantries I thought he got somewhere.
He smiled, she smiled, he pointed to me, then whispered in her ear
And though I didn't hear what he said, her slap was crystal-clear.
She followed up with punches that were accurate and quick,
My pal put up a good defense 'til she threw a roundhouse kick.
He wasn't quite expecting that as her foot thud against his head
And as he melted into the tiles I prayed her rage had ebbed.
The beauty gave my friend a kick as if to underscore.
She smoothed her dress, then smiled and said, "you want to see s'more?"
I raised my hands and said, "Hell no! My friend deserved his fate."
Then I gave her one of my best smiles and invited her to copulate.
Well, the last thing I remember was her knuckles 'gainst my chin
Then judging from the stars I saw I ascended up to heaven.
But this heaven was the alleyway behind the Moulon Rouge
That stunk of fish, and old gym socks, and assorted smelly refuge.
I gingerly touched my swollen jaw, then did an inventory.
I checked each moving body part, and found I was ambulatory.
My buddy woke about that time with a look of consternation
He wondered just what had caused the girl's sudden irritation.
After all he was a handsome man who the ladies found attractive
So why the heck would an ugly girl be so over-reactive?
I agreed for just like him, I was as handsome as could be
And the ugly girl apparently didn't appreciate our conviviality.
It just goes to show there are females who just ain't got no class. And
Who don't appreciate the finer things like getting drunk and a quick piece
of...
Aw Hell, you know what I mean.
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