Billy, John, Speck, Steeleye and Me
It was real Lay – Zee – Boy - Days, just rocking on the grass and the weeds
And Speck who lay beside me dropped his butt into the turn-up of John’s tweeds.
John didn’t notice the joke until he smelled the smoke and I knew it would provoke
Trouble. 'Cos John liked his suit (he thought he looked cute), so he spoke,
What the heck, Speck? (raising his foot to stomp Speck’s head) Smokin’l be the death o’you.
Speck rolled over and told Steeleye to tell smart John that he was taboo,
And John’s time on Steeleye’s land was through. But Steeleye’s mind had begun to flex,
Sidesteppin’ to bounced cheques and his next crate of Becks.
Billy gave me the eye, on this laziest of Lay – Zee – Boy - Days,
Billy was the youngest, simplest and prettiest, he liked readin’ and carnation bouquets.
Did his eye imply that I should reply? So I said, Billy get me a beer and bring it here.
First he froze, then his colour rose and I watched him disappear.
Steeleye said Rusty, Why’d you treat him like that? He ain’t queer; he’s just that way.
I licked my teeth like I’m prone to do, 'cos it sure was a Lay – Zee – Boy – Day.
John brushed himself down and spruced himself up, Billy told him how nice he looked.
Steeleye spat a wad of Becks onto a honey bee – it was so hot it nearly cooked.
Eleanor pulled up in a smokin’ pick up truck and took some groceries indoors,
Say Eleanor! Steeleye shouted, You git us some beers whilst doin’ your chores?
Treatin’ us like dirt, she ignored us, but we thought we heard a scream.
Billy brought my beer – he didn’t get a thank you – no way – too extreme.
So Speck, I said, You and John goin’ for some beers? Before he spoke
I knew he would say, We’re in the same can as you, Steeleye and Billy, we’re broke.
So while the tumbleweed rolled and the church bells tolled, us five were all in praise
Of bus delays and the golden haze of blistering midday’s –
Yes, these sure were Lay – Zee – Boy – Days.
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