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Seattle Spit


R.L. Walker

Continued from Seattle Rain/Seattle Piddle 

Goshhhhhh…Mom sure makes a scrump-a-dillyiscious breakfast…even though I didn’t get to finish licking all the blueberries off the second layer of hotcakes, I got three big mouthfuls. Good thing I gobbled up the whole first layer before Mom went into my bedroom to get all my dirty clothes out of the hamper. (I really could have starved to death.)

‘Course…standing here wif my nose stuck in the corner, and my hands straight down by my sides, ain’t too fun. Oh, well…at least now I know how to tell the difference between a waste basket and a clothes hamper in the dark. (Wastebaskets don’t gots no lid on’em.)

I didn’t really want to go outside and play in the rain again anyways. I think I’m gettin waterlogged. (I can tell by how the tips of my fingers are all “shriveled up.”)

I wonder how long “Forever” is? Until it stops raining??? I’m supposed to stand here for that long? (I think, somewhere I heard, “Forever” is enough time to grow a long, long, beard. Nuffin’ for me to worry about, though. I don’t gots no whiskers at all. And I won’t have none, either. Not until a long time after “Forever.”)

How come I ain’t as lonesome, or scared, when it’s daytime out? Everthin’ seems so much friendlier, and further apart, when it’s daylight out than it does at night…when it’s dark. I hardly ever bump into stuff too much in the daytime.

Hmmmm…I think sumpin’s wrong wif this wallpaper. At least I think sumpin’s wrong wif it. Wif my nose up against the corner like this…it’s hard to see. And this yellow color paper is very bright. Everything is sooooo blurry. I better back away a little…just to make sure. Then I’ll put my nose right back. It will only take a second.

Yup…I knew it. Sumpin’s wrong all right. It gots a little bubble stickin’ up… right on the seam, a little ways up from in front of my eye. Dad is gonna be hoppin’ mad. I heard him say he paid a lot of money for this stuff. Not only that… but it took him a long time to put it on the wall. I watched him a lot while he did it. He even let me help. I got to sit in the hallway and guard the door so nobody could knock him off the ladder. I was so proud, and I even think I had fun. Sorta.

Anyways…I better do sumpin about this little bubble in the paper. I’ll fix it, and not say nuffin to nobody. If I lick it with the tip of my tongue, and get it real wet, it should stick back down on the wall. Hope I gots enough spit for it to work. (Wish I had some of that rain in a bucket.)

Uh, oh … my tongue ain’t long enough to reach the bubble. Maybe if I stand on my toes??? Nope. Still can’t reach it. Darn! This is my chance to be a hero… Dad’s gonna be so proud of me. (If only I had a real long tongue… like a anteater I saw on the TV…or that SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSnake.)

I haven’t heard nobody checking on me for a long time…I could probably get sumpin to stand on…maybe turn the waste basket upside down. Yeah… that would do it. I’ll get right back in the corner too. Nobody will know the difference.

There, that’s better. (Lick, lick, lick…lick….lick, lick, lick.) C’mon spit! (I better make up a bunch more spit…cuz my tongue is really dry now.) Lick, lick, lick… lick…lick. Shucks! That ain’t gonna work. It’s just runnin’ down the wall. Oh, my goshhhhhh…Oh, my gosssshhhhhhhhhhh…my spit’s BLUE!!! I’ll lick it all up later, after I get done fixing this wallpaper.

I better do sumpin. Quick! If I pick a little hole in the bubble, that’d help. Pick… Pick, Pick, Pick. There! Lick, lick, lick…lick, lick. (Hole’s too small, hmmmmmmm… better peel it back a little bit. That way I can lick the glue. That should work.) Lick, lick, lick…lick, lick. Nope…ain’t working. Gotta peel it back some more. Pick Pick….Pick, Pick, Pick. There! Lick, lick, lick….lick…lick…lick. I think that’s got it. Now I’ll rub it real good, and hard, wif my finger. Press it down, so the glue sticks. Rub, rub, rub. Rub, rub, rub. Rub. Rub, rub, rub.

(Jeepers!!! What’s these rolled up little black things? Where’d they come from???)

Yikes! The wallpaper’s turning GREEN where my spit ran down the wall!!! …Oh….NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Now I’m gonna hafta lick the whole wall, so it’ll match…nobody could tell then!

What I gotta figure out now… is how to get some more blueberries…I wonder how much spit I gotta make?! Uh, oh…I hear somebody coming. (Maybe if I go stand in the other corner………..???)

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