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Seattle Piddle


R.L. Walker

Continued from Seattle Rain

Well…there I went and done it, again. Stupid old alarm clock! It was a accident. I said I was sorry. How'm I spos’ed to know how to tell time? I don’t go to school yet. Can’t help it if the alarm clock has so many buttons? Jeepers…all I did was pull out the little button …didn’t even turn the big hand button very much, either. Bet hardly nobody can see too awful good in the dark like that…at least I know little kids can’t.

Anyway…I think it’s good I don’t unnerstan ALLLLLLL the big people’s words. I think some of them would really “hurt.”

Dad almost never calls me “Richard.” (‘Cept when he’s frownin at me with his hands on his hips cuz I done sumpin bad.) He calls me …“Bumper” … most of the time. (I think that’s because I fall down a whole lot.) He keeps telling me how lucky I am. Being built so close to the ground, and all … says I don’t have very far to fall. 

“Just get up and try again, Bumper.” (That’s what he always tells me.) 

I never seen Dad fall down. He’s so good at walking, and running. Good thing, too. He’d get hurt awful bad falling all that ways. He’s bigger as a Giant!

Shucks!!! Everybody’s upset wif me and says now I gots to stay in bed. And
better not even move a muscle, and no “Peeps,” either …‘til Mom calls me for breakfast. (And from the way she sounded…that could be weeks. I could starve to death!) My tummy’s already growling. Uh, oh…I think I gotta go pee, too…and I’m soooooo thirsty….

Yikes! Some of my muscles are moving all by themselves. I ain’t makin ’em move! They’re kind of like … “twitching.” Dad tucked my blankee real tight … all the way up, and down, me. Right up to my chin. I thought none of my muscles would ever move…not never again. But …that was a long time ago…I know…because I can hear my Mom. (She’s snoring again.) Dad keeps telling her he don’t snore…so I know it’s Mom.

I have to remember to ask Dad sumpin. How come when Sis has to pee…all she does is sit down for a little while…and it goes away. I think girls are soooooo lucky. (Better think about sumpin else.) Sis is a year older than me. She goes to school on that way cool yellow schoolbus. That’s how I know she is reallllllllly lucky.

Goshhhhhhh…I gotta stop thinking about “peeing.” My blankee is real loose now, from all the “twitching.” I better think about sumpin else again.

One time, me and Dad was driving along, way far away from anything, and I had to “pee” real bad. He said he was really running late and couldn’t stop. He reached into a rolled up burger-bag, pulled out an empty chocolate milk carton, and made me “go” in it. I filled it almost all the way up to the top. I could feel how hot the carton was getting and I got scared cuz it was gettin pretty full. (I made it though. Just barely.) Then Dad took it, carefully folded the lid back together… and drove home balancing it between his legs. (So it wouldn’t spill.) I know it spilt a little though. I thought that was funny. But … I didn’t dare laugh…not out loud, anyways.

…….Goshhhhhhhhhhhh…I gotta “go” really, really, really, bad, now.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! I gotta think about sumpin else. Gee, it’s so
dark in here. What’s in my closet? Under my bed? Where did I put my snorkel? …my T-Rex??? Goshhhhhhhh…listen to that rain pouring out of the downspout …sounds like the house is “peeing.” WOW!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! (I gotta “go,” I gotta “go!”) Can’t think about it…can’t. Lemme see … oh yeah … yesterday I stubbed my toe on the trash can by the dresser. (Trash Can??? By ...The…Dresser??? … Yipppppppeeeeeeeeee!!! (And it even gots a waterproof plastic liner……………!!!) …


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