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Learning the Ropes
Here's a comic piece for Halloween, the prompt was a
In the old days, on Halloween after school was out, Mommy and I would dress
up real sharp like we were going to the Oscar Awards dinner and we would go
trick or treating in our neighborhood. The houses were very far apart in those
days and it took hours to fill my bag with treats.
Mommy was no help, she always had to stop and talk. Sometimes she would go
inside and leave me standing outside in the dark. Then, when she came back out
again, she would say, "Oh look at the pretty necklace the man gave me!" Mommy
was always getting treats from men -- even when it wasnít Halloween.
I use to complain and show her that my treat bag was still empty, but she
promised me that when I grew up to be a big girl like her, she would teach me to
do tricks and treats too -- and my bag would always be full.
Mommy had a list of the best houses for tricks and treats and she would tell
me to -- "Skip that one, the man of the house is away on business," or
"Hereís a good one, the lady of the house works on the Late, Late Show." It
seemed that it worked out better for her than it did for me. She would explain
it away by saying candy would make me fat and it was bad for my teeth.
When I look back on those early days I have to admit I was lucky to have a
Mommy as smart as mine. I donít have to wait for Halloween any more, in fact I
donít have to walk the streets either. All the men know where they can find me.
They come bringing all kinds of treats with them -- the kind of treats you
can stash away in a bank security vault for a rainy day.
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