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"Fur Elise"



The prompt was a picture of a little girl standing in the doorway with her mother behind her.

You’re such a lucky girl, Elise. Imagine Doctor Beethoven himself has dedicated this lovely piano piece to you. ... and you play it so well, Elise. Now I want you to walk in there and thank him, you understand? Then walk over to the piano, sit down and play it for him. Don’t forget to curtsy when you thank him. You know how to curtsy don’t you? They taught you how in school, didn’t they? You hold the hem of your skirt on both sides and place your left foot behind your right, and then you ... what do you call it in school? Heavens! Dropping a fart is not a nice thing to call it, Elise.

Yes, I know he’s deaf, Elise - but he’d like to hear you play it anyway. He sees your fingers on the keys. He sees the keys going up and down - he’s a maestro Elise, and he wrote the piece. He can hear it in his head for Heaven’s sake. I really wish you were a little more enthusiastic, Herr Beethoven doesn’t write music for every little girl you know.

Yes, I know he doesn’t smell very nice, Elise, and yes, he has food all over his shirt -- he’s a great composer, dear - He’s not like real people, he’s an artiste ... well ... artistes are poor people who can do some things better than anyone else can. Some of them can make music and some can paint pictures, and some of them write ... you know, “write.” Yes, I know you can write, dear, but most artistes write things people pay to read. Artistes are like pets, Elise. People take care of them, and Herr Beethoven is like a great big old St. Bernard dog, a deaf St. Bernard dog; and he’s come here this afternoon to listen to you play “Fur Elise,” and to borrow money from Daddy.

His hair? Yes dear, I don’t believe he’s ever had a haircut, or a bath for that matter. What? You’d like to be an artiste too? Don’t be silly, Elise -- absolutely out of the question. See how pretty you are in your new plaid dress, you’re a little princess. What would Herr Beethoven say if you looked like him?

The End

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