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There

by

Nicole Starleigh Yeager

Thereís a thin line between comfort and anxietyÖ
Especially when it comes to a guy that you really want to get to know
And third & fourth parties keep pushing you to make that move
Or speak up
Or Ö embarrass the hell out of yourself when he rejects you
You know, the third & fourth parties are absolutely convinced
He likes you too
Ha ha ha
You needed a good laugh
And each push they press at you
The more uneasy you become
And suddenly you are not yourself any more
And he seems rigid around you
You can feel his edginess
It mirrors your own
He doesnít like to be pushed either, you can tell, or
Maybe he really just doesnít like you
Your instincts have never failed you before
Even though they have the best of intentions
You back off and return to your normal routine
As if he isnít anyone special
Most likely because youíre too much of a chicken
And the third & fourth parties seem disappointed
But you tell them it isnít time
And if it will happen, it will, on its own
And you only half-heartedly believe that
But it keeps them off your back
And the anxiety returns to comfort
As you fall back into regularity
And soon you and he are back to talking freely
Watching movies when you should be working
Playing childhood card games to pass the time together
Laughing at each otherís follies
Sharing stories of each otherís day to day
and soon you catch him gazing at you with mesmerizing eyes
itís frightening, at first, you tell yourself youíve made it up
that you didnít really see that
and how could you really be sure, anyway?
You always look away the minute his eyes catch yours
Youíre only protecting yourself
Over time you begin to trust yourself
And the feelings that are growing inside you
And you learn to stay locked in his mesmerizing gaze
And it fills you a little bit
There in that place
Where youíve been empty for so long
And you find that you can finally see for yourself
Some of the signs the third and fourth parties once proclaimed to you
And you realize that his beautiful smile
Is a smile he saves just for you
And the softness in his eyes
Also reserved only for you
So, what happens now?
The best is yet to come
Or perhaps not
You wonít rush anything
If he still likes you after this long
Then itís something worth waiting for

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