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War = Death


Nancy Brar

My heart lay shattered in pieces,

Inside the surrounding barbed wire fence,

And under lock and key was it only safe

For there was no love, no peace, no faith

Not in the pit of death I’d fallen,

Even as I watched the blood flow like a river,

And trickle silently onto soft earth

I pictured the enemy a faceless creature,

For if I saw life inside the man I was to destroy,

I would become the destroyed

As I wipe the sweat from my wet brow,

And ask for the forgiveness of God,

Then I plunge head on into the battle

I try not to think of the blood I’ve shed by my hand,

And relentlessly run into the deadness

With the bitter taste of it on my tongue,

And the rain dancing sweetly on my skin,

All I can hear are the cracks of gunshots

Screaming I continue to demolish worlds

Until it is over and the field lies barren with the blood of man,

Of the enemy who remains unseen,

Of the victor who remains the loser of his triumph

For the victory is soulless and black

Death is all I see, as I stare silently into the eyes of war,

Eyes that stare back at me without seeing me at all

And I stand and cry out in pain,

For their pain is mingled with mine

How many fathers and brothers and husbands and sons had I killed?

I did not like to think of it,

But the guilt and regret and uselessness drowned me

I was a broken man,

A soldier fighting for the beliefs of nothing

And dead lay I,

Waiting to be thrown into my cold, lonely grave

For death was the only victor through the machinations I had witnessed,

And nothing else would follow…

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