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How To Wipe Out Government
A lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon - try being a highway beautification volunteer, or in plain language, a garbage man.
The job is not complete unless you wear a special orange vest so drivers can pay homage to you for your humanitarian zeal for
clean highways. In our case, our vests gave one driver a good target to toss his entire case of empty Mountain Dew cans at.
"Yep, Stan. Ole Fred was only three feet from his water bucket when he just keeled over."
"Dropped dead. Deader than a doornail."
Only people in the Midwest can relate to the heat that was being generated on that day. In fact, it has been mentioned that
when plots on Mercury go on sale, the side facing the sun, the first people in line will be Hoosiers, Illini, Buckeyes, and
The prevailing logic being, "It might be a tad toasty on Mercury, but the humidity won't be as bad."
I could barely breathe, and through eyes burning from sweat (not perspiration, no person that used the word perspiration would ever find themselves doing this as a volunteer), I could make out the four-mile marker that would end my misery.
Suddenly, like Paul in the New Testament, a transformation of intelligence came over me and it burned itself into my collective
consciousness. If anyone was forced to do this job, welfare would not be necessary for ABA (Able-Bodied Americans). TAKE NOTE-
Only ABA's would be eligible for this plan. I know of many people who get laid off and take their government
As I finished my volunteer project, I now know for a fact that no ABA on any government sponsored handout would do
what I had just done. In two months, the only people left on welfare would be those who are physically unable to work.
Simple. Clean-up crews of ABA's who are getting a government check would be driven 10 miles out of town, given three trash bags, and then told to fill the three bags as they walked back to town. Each day a different road could be chosen. At the end of four days (W, Th, Fr., Sat.) of handing in three full trash bags - oh, only have two bags, walk around the local park, the ABA would get (have earned) his government check. On Mondays and Tuesdays, these ABAs would have the days off to look for a job and/or try to find a doctor who would sign a paper saying they are unable to walk 10 miles a day. (It goes without saying that some people will try to dodge the system.)
In one year of this system, all ABAs will have found work. Why? No one would go through the clean-up torture for long
until that minimum wage job flippin' burgers would look very attractive. These people might decide a good idea would be to
For those of you who agree with this plan, don't think Utopia has suddenly shined its lights on the welfare crisis in America. This plan will never fly in the land of the free (irresponsible) and home of the brave (gutless). Some civil liberties organization would slap an injunction on this plan in seconds, a commission of bureaucrats will study the proposal for a decade, and the court system will award millions to those on welfare who while just thinking of this plan have had to suffer injurious mental anguish.
Everyone will continue to talk about how the young people of today have no role models, are too lazy, have no goals, etc....
Why not? They have been shown for the past 30 years that they can do nothing and get paid for it.
However, right here, right now, the working solution has been mapped out for putting all ABAs back to work. If only Utopia had it so good.
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