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Maureen White

I used to think I had all the answers
That I knew who I was
And I was wrong.
I woke up this morning, took a good hard look
And saw where I was
And knew it was gone.
Stop calling me a survivor
Because that's not what I am
I drank all my guts away.
This word "incest" is who I am
I can't escape it or help being it
And every day I pay...
My dues for being that particular child
Who trusted and loved...
And lost...
Those parts that help to grow up
So I'm still that child...trapped...and always running
At any cost.
Towards you, away from you, beside you
It doesn't really matter, does it?
When you're scared to death
Just so long as I keep on going
Without stopping even
To catch my breath...
Because if I stop you know
I'll be enveloped in sorrow
So heavy I'll suffocate
And this, this is really what incest is
A race from sorrow
A race with fate.

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