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Made Man - Chapter 6
by
Matteo Calvi
I still had a few hours to kill until the meeting. I was still feeling that same way. Something wasn't right. I didn't feel right. Then I began to scare myself and I went to a place I hadn't been in years. I went into our church and sat for 2 hours. I felt real uncomfortable. I felt like I wasn't welcome there. At first I thought about things, things I had done, and realized that they weren't worth it. Then I started to talk as if someone was there. I felt ridiculous but I kept going. I was talking to God. He didn't say much but I just felt better telling someone everything.
I told him how uncomfortable I was. Then I went into what I was thinking about. I told him about the things I did and why I did them. And about halfway into talking, I realized there was no good reason for the things I did. I wanted to get out, but it was too late. I would have to deal with this and then do some soul searching to find out what was best for me.
It was getting late so I started to go over to the park. I didn't bring any weapons. It was weird because I usually did, but after the church and everything I felt safe. I had my whole crew with me. We showed up and waited for a few minutes.
It was pitch black by then. I waited while thinking about the last week of my life. As if I had found a new me. I decided there that I wasn't gonna fight. I would try to make peace. There were no guarantees but I at least had to try. This is something I would have never thought of doing before. It would be one of the biggest signs of weakness, but I had to.
Finally I saw Mikey and all his boys coming up the street. They got closer and I became more afraid. I couldn't handle this type of thing anymore, I wasn't the same. But I had no choice.
Mikey stepped up to me and I noticed something shiny sticking out of his belt. He got up real close to my face and started to yell. I told him right off that I didn't want to fight. He started to tease but I expected that. I wasn't gonna budge though, he couldn't make me. Everyone was screaming at me, even my friends. They were going crazy because I wasn't hitting him. They didn't get it though, it was over, it had to come to an end sometime and this was it.
After 15 minutes, Mikey started to get frustrated. He started to hit me but I just stood still. The more I didn't do anything the angrier he got. Finally he snapped and before I knew it a gun was to my chest. I was in deeper than I ever could imagine. I never thought death could be a part of this. It was unthinkable; there I was on my 15th birthday about to get killed. I didn't know what was coming next, my fate lay in Mikey's hands. If he didn't do it people would think he backed down but if he did he would be in serious trouble.
I looked into his eyes and at that moment realized what he was gonna do. I had never been so scared in my whole life. Things flashed and suddenly I heard a click. Nothing happened, his weapon was dry. Then before I could take my next breath I saw his finger pull again and this time I heard a bang. My whole body went numb and I didn't know what to do.
Everyone fled except Georgie. He held me in his arms and comforted me. That's the kind of kid he was. At that moment I realized that neither of us was cut out for this. I didn't remember much after that, I blacked out in his arms.
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