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Out of the Darkness


Maggie Murphy

Born into a trapped world is how my life began for me. I was born into this world with parents who fought day and night. My father was in the military so he was never around. My mother took out her anger on me and my 2 brothers. Particularly to make sure that she made my life a living hell. Once I started school that was my ticket out of hell. I excelled and by my senior year I was an honor roll student juggling a part time job. The year was 1994.

I kept working realizing how good the money was. But eventually 2 years later I would become pregnant and a single parent. I had to be on welfare just to survive, but I garnered the strength and I got off welfare and went back to work. I didn't want this for me or my son. I wanted to get out of this second hell I was in. Living in next to nothing conditions, paying rent just to have a one bedroom roach motel. The year was 1998.

I went back to waitressing where the money was fast and easy. I was pulling in on some nights close to $200.00. But my son would get sick, causing me to realize that what I needed was a job with benefits. So I began my search for a new job, a new career. And I eventually had found it. The year was 2001.

I was off to a fresh start, I was living in a great neighborhood, I had a great new job with benefits. My family was starting to appreciate me more, when then again I felt as if I was struck by lightening. I found out I was pregnant. This guy whom I thought I was serious with, did not have mutual feelings. Come to find out this sailor was already married. I felt as if I was in the same predicament. Only one thought came to my mind, that was abortion. As I was sitting in that clinic, they showed me a sonogram of the baby and he looked pretty big. I would that day find out that instead of being 1 month I was actually 4. And about 6 months later my second son was born. The year was 2002.

It was hard raising a baby again, and juggling my household, and my career. But I did it, and I did it alone. Thank God for all the friends and what family support I got. But I still became depressed. I wanted better for my children. I wanted to give them a loving home, one of which I never had the privilege of. Now I was forced to be both mother and father. It was a hard struggle but I did overcome even the highest mountain. I realized there are more problems in this world; I am not alone.

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