There was a young fellow named Al
Who lived on a farm in the South—
He slept in a woodshed and grew up on cornbread
And milk from a sour old cow.
But Al learned to love the old cow,
And promised her they would get out—
They found a solution, a firm resolution
That sweetened their days in the south.
Then one day while plowing a field,
Poor Al found a two-dollar bill.
It bought him a ticket right out of that thicket
Providing the deepest of thrills
He packed all his clothes in a sack
And told the cow he would be back,
But it wasn’t much longer till Al was the owner
Of silks and a black Cadillac!
He learned to live high on the hog
And seldom looked back on the bog—
Till a lady one night, in the midst of a fight
Threw wine on his favorite rug!
Now Al loved the lady, I’m sure—
But Al loved his Persian rug more.
So, Al took to screaming, “You crazy old demon,
Get out of my house! Shut the door!”
Well, the lady left crazy old Al
Alone in his smelly old house
But Al had been drinking, and now he was thinking
Of home and a sweet little cow.
So Al left the bright side of life
With all of its trouble and strife
For days on the farm with a haystack and barn—
And Al took the cow for his wife!