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It's Not Just About Me Anymore
By
Khyla
Preface
I live in the Midwest, heartland. You may have noticed that I am a fat girl.
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman... In fact, SSBBW. SS = SuperSize. That's me.
I have long dreamt of being somewhere with lots of other fat people like me. To try
on tons of beautiful, well-fitting clothes, to have men there who know what they like
& like what they see. ME!
One of my goals has always been to attend a convention. Imagine that! Really fat
people all around you! Roundness, everywhere you look. Roundness. All curves. Just like me.
Having achieved that goal, here's what I have to say about that (and I mean that in
a very nice way ;-)
It's Not Just About Me Anymore...
That's the feeling I woke up with today. It's not just about me any more. It's about
all those very beautiful fat people I saw at the NAAFA convention on Halloween in
Chicago. It's about all the dear friends I have made online in the size acceptance
movement. It's about the little girl I left behind many scales ago. And all the other
little fat girls still out there, and boys too.
It's about feeling good about yourself. Good enough to flaunt yourself in beautiful
clothes, lingerie and bathing suits.
It's about having choices. Choices that non-fat people take for granted, but why wouldn't they. It's a
non-fat world we live in. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw plenty of us there
& we are something else. They can't get us down if we don't let them.
It was a wonderful world to be in. It was such an experience to be among my peers,
people who were like me.
The pool party was wonderful. We were so many in the pool, that the water was way
up over the drain around the edge. I found that magnificently empowering. There were men who came to stand
and watch, some even pulled up a chair just to watch the
mermaids frolic. Others chose to get wet with us, and got in to play too.
I saw love, friendship, kindness, generosity, romance, lust, playfulness, great creativity, overwhelming beauty, contagious laughter,
fun... all manner of good
things.
I said I felt like Cinderella before and left. I looked down and found a nice man helping
me on with my shoe and smiled. Then I knew I had to be careful what I asked for,
because it really can happen.
I saw clothes that I never knew even existed. It's different than looking at a picture
in a catalog. The feel of the fabric against your skin is so sensuous. The colors, the
drape, the cut of the clothes. And they really do fit. Things that aren't
'fat,' in the old
sense of the word. As opposed to the new, reclaimed "FAT" that we are
re-establishing as our right to bear calories.
I felt joy in my soul. Like I had finally made it home after a life time of being lost. I
think we should start a community for us & our admirers. We'd have proper seating
everywhere we went. Nice big bathrooms. No stairs or steps for those of us less mobile. We could hire
non-fats to do the dirty work, like climb ladders, etc. LOL... Well, I may have gone too
far... but I think not. You can never go too far in
your dreams.
Did you know there are parts of the world right now where a woman is incarcerated
at home and fed to fatten, with restricted activity to accommodate this. All in
preparation for marriage. Yes, it is true. I read it in Marie Claire magazine. Imagine
the panic if you could not gain.
I do know this - I will never feel like a second class citizen again, now that I have had
this experience. Size acceptance is not just a myth. I saw the real thing this past
weekend. It is a truly beautiful thing.
I can never thank enough the friends who made it all possible.
Donna Marie Ryan, who started it all rolling, by inviting me & paying my registration fees. And Grace Mordock & her fiancé Tony for driving me up there &
back. Tony took my scooter apart and put back up for me. And Ellen Kahn, AKA:
BigEllen, who came all the way from Manhattan & got me something gorgeous from
Jody's Myles Ahead, & Kathy Aaron, AKA: Kitzkat also gave me a gift certificate
for my birthday at Myles Ahead, too. And Karen, who sent me $$$ for my
room... and Auntie Susie who sent me money to buy something wonderful with.
I never could have gone without these acts of kindness. Ones I will never forget, or
be able to thank enough. I know I have real friends. I am truly blessed. I thank God
for this.
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