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Pushing Forty
by
Katherine Lynn Charland
When I was young, I remember signing a birthday card with a joke. It stated when
you are 10-20 looks old, when
you are 20, 40 looks old. When you are 40 what's old? Well now I find myself
creeping up on 40 and realizing
that it has gifts I've never imagined.
I was never really shy, I was always outgoing. However, in my early 20's I could
still get nervous in front of
my superiors at work and really good-looking men. I would hold my tongue to
often not valuing my own
contributions. Somewhere along the way with out even as much as a whisper my
insecurities slipped away.
You know all those little idiosyncrasies about your body that seem to plaque
women throughout their teens and
twenties. Well some how I've made friends with my body along the way. Even my
derrière, which I always thought,
was to big for my small frame; I've come to embrace as uniquely mine. My black
roommates in college used to call
it tropical, and my husband and I laughed out loud the first time we heard the
song " honkey tonk ba dunk a dunk"
Sexuality for women in her thirties seems to improve too just getting better and
better as a women learns how her
body responds. Need I say more?
Early mother hood has it up's and down's. It is easy to get lost in the
experience. I passionately gave myself
to the experience of being involved in the creation of new life. It's joys and
sorrows and just a lack of sleep
make it easy to loose site of who you are beyond the experience. Even your grown
up conversation revolves around
diapers and little JR's newest trick. As my little ones develop into their own
persons and become more
independent, I'm relishing the ability to spend time developing my own interests
again. It feels like a gift.
Yes this body has gotten older. I love it and respect it for its ability to
successfully bear three children.
It may not be exactly the way it used to be, but I've come to love it for its
abilities, instead of criticizing
it for its shortcomings. So here I am pushing forty and loving it in ways I
never imagined.
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