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Pushed Too Far

by

Jonathan Isenor

I still remember the day she told me good-bye
I remember the pain
I remember not feeling the same way that she did
I remember how badly she wanted me gone
I remember the neglect that I felt
I remember the hurt that I felt

I remember the anger
I remember the bitterness
I remember the sadness
I remember the confusion
I remember wishing that I could change the situation
I remember wishing I was having a nightmare that Iíd wake from

Everything seemed too real
But yet so far-fetched
Things from that point were only supposed to get better
They didnít though
I changed after that
I lost my smile

I didnít want to look into the mirror anymore
I didnít like who looked back out at me
I tried to change back to who I was
It couldnít be done though
Circumstances surpassed my true self
I had become bitter and angry

I couldnít do anything
Accept wake up everyday and watch myself suffer
I felt so defenseless
I felt so lost
I felt so depressed
I felt so frustrated

This cycle didnít end
Until I was pushed too far
My suffering got almost unbearable
I had to end it somehow, anyway that I could
I needed a way out
I couldnít take it anymore

Finally I did what I had too
After I fought my way out of a bad situation
I ended my suffering
I havenít gone back to my old self though
I will never be the same again
Now Iím someone better
I have found my smile again.

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