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Living Here



(Jolanta Gradowicz)

I am living here among the most loved people in the world. I am four years old. They say I am much barked, but itís quite normal in my situation. Have you ever seen a dog that wouldnít be barked? You surely wouldnít.

And donít call me Lassie, as I am proud of my own name. And my name is Hacker.

I was three months when I had taken up residence in the flat with the family. Actually they wanted to have something like a Lassie, but first they saw me wagging my tail and waving friendly may paw to them. I was lucky because Joan turned out to be a very romantic woman. She immediately shouted, ďItís a sign for us! He chose us! He is so lovely!Ē

Poor Joan! She didnít even guess that I was wagging and waving to everyone who passed by me. I was simply fed up with the small and uncomfortable cage. Besides, my previous owner was horrible; he didnít let me leave the cage even for a while.

One way or another, I turned up in the flat. I frolicked, and they were watching my pranks, being delighted with me. I was a great prankster, but they loved me very much, and forgave me everything.

Some time later I was taken serious ill. They despaired for this reason. I remember my frequent appointments with a vet. And I remember Joan watching over me. She laid me down in a soft little bed (bought especially for me!) and stroked me. I felt great sorrow at home then. But week by week I became stronger and stronger and that was why everybody was happy even when I pissed in the middle of the biggest room, or when I tore Joanís slippers and her bedclothes. I wonít mention a wooden shelf in the hall... But I had to sharpen my teeth somewhere, didnít I?

My human family is very nice. There are two teenagers here. The younger one, Martin, is my real friend. He likes taking me for a walk. Joan even bought a very long leash for him, as he wanted to allow me to go for a long distance.

I dislike it when both of the teenagers quarrel. Just in case then I always catch an elder oneís trousers leg, because it is the younger one who always takes care of my full bowl.

There is also a Boss who often likes to show me where my place in the family is. From time to time I check if he is ready to give me leadership in the family, but he still isnít.

I love Joan most. She is so soft, and so warm! I like it when she throws a little red ball, and I catch it in a flash. Then Joan shouts, ďHacker, you are like a volleyball player!Ē I am very proud of it and that is why I donít let the ball even touch the floor.

I love to eat human food. I tend to sit close to my family and to watch their mouths while they are eating. I always hope to receive some pieces of their delicacies. Chocolate, sweets of every description and meat are the most desirable.

I like it when Joan goes to the kitchen to prepare a meal. The clatter of the refrigerator being opened is the nicest sound in the flat. I am able to hear it wherever I am.

But today Joan pulls out vegetables and olive oil. She is surely going to do the vegetable salad which is liked by everybody here. Oh, Joan! Do I look like a vegetarian? I prefer far better these days when she prepares some meat spreads. Unfortunately, today I wonít eat anything tasty.

Besides, Joan is still on a diet and that is why I eat much more frequently pieces of carrots than meat.

I dislike it when Joan sits at the computer. She is so busy that she doesnít notice me at all, though I am very close to her and nudge her with my nose to attract her attention. But Joan forgets about everything while she is writing something. Sometimes she seems to be very excited, and sometimes she is very sad. I am always surprised that the machine can set free such different emotions... Human beings are strange species of animals. One way or another, I dislike the computer.

My life here is very nice indeed. I like to lie in my lair and to daydream. And you are wrong if you think that I dream about a big bone. Not at all!

I dream that everybody takes me for a very, very long walk because sometimes (why are they still in a hurry?) I hardly manage to find a bush and to raise my leg.

And I dream that my Boss doesnít drive me out of Joanís bed (he is simply jealous!). And I would like Joan to have much more time for me. And I would like to have the refrigerator still full of meat and beef tails.

I donít complain at all, but my life here would be much nicer if my dreams could come true...

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