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When Shit Hits the Fan in Zero-G


Joe Rosochacki

"Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name,

And away go troubles down the drain."

(well at least that's the concept)

Houston, we have a problem.

Star City, we have a problem, “Da”. (“yes” in Russian)

It seems as though there is a backed up toilet in the international space station.

A long way from the planet Roto-rooter.

Uranus had a problem too!

After a magnificent week of NASA soft-landing Phoenix on Mars,

For man to begin searching for the planets and consequently stars,

He first must solve problems #1 and #2.

I wonder if the Captain Kirk would’ve encountered this EVENT HORIZON.

The Russian made 'commodesky' is blocked until we can get plumbers on the shuttle;

Chekov had no answer,

This is a little job for Harry Tuttle. (Robert De Niro, in the film Brazil)

The waste gets sucked out into space therefore a vacuum is needed,

(a little Black Hole? Or a planetary shaped Dyson?)

How come a vacuum was not put in the space station already?

It seems as though it would be as necessary as a plunger for a terrestrial toilets.

Maybe future design in space station will contain redundant systems,

If they have but one pot to stir, they, the space team, will have a ton of regrets,

(I forgot Zero-G)

Maybe we aren’t as smart as we thought we were? Maybe we’re just full of it?

“To everybody's relief, astronauts fixed the toilet at the international space station on Wednesday and opened up a grand new science lab.”

The toilet has been fixed,

The balance of the universe has been leveled,

The john, the out(erspace) house, the can.

So what will aliens think, what will they find?

What will they possibly say?

“It’s a small turd for man,

A giant flush for mankind?"

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