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Heidi Yang

Part 3:Moving on

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, cannot cease for the fear of s-i-lent nights. Oh how I long for the deep sweet dreaming , the Godess of ima-gin-ary l-ight...-Imaginary by Evanescence
I said, "Woman, take it slow, you know we're gonna be just fine, all we need is just a little p-atience...-Patience by Guns N' Roses
Patience is all we need
A wise musician once said, "All you need is love."
Did he mean just lovers?
I think not
He meant that we all need love
whether we are friends, lovers, or strangers
a need for peace and love
not war,
Interesting concept no?
Not quite so cold
like I was to you
as you were to me
or my requests rather,
I told my family about us
people repsond in odd ways
my dad said he was glad rather than sad for me
Wonder why?
Maybe because I wasn't the only one who thought you didn't pay me enough attention.
You never heeded my warnings
just mistook them for threats
I shouldn't have had to do that to you
as I've said a million times, you forced my hand
You don't believe me?
You never did
Sad really,
when the evidence is sitting right in front of you
staring at you from the past with cold, angry, vacant eyes
You found time for your friends during winter break
why not me?
Was I really that bad?
I suppose I have to concede with you there
I did bug you a lot
You thought it was part of my nature
while I see it as a last resort
I see what our problem was all along now
You made no effort
while effort was all I ever gave you
You never trusted me.
It doesn't matter that you didn't trust others' opinions on the subject
I saw your reasoning
But you couldn't be bothered to take a chance
I didn't trust others about my dark past
Strangely, I trusted you
I took a chance
and found acceptance
What made you think I wouldn't have done the same?
Or others? People in this world are more accepting than you think my friend,
You refused to see how much I was really willing to put up with
all for your sake
when I didn't have to,
I defended you to the last
I don't ever remember you ever doing that for me
No opportunites I suppose
You want to know why I told them about the other person only I could see?
If I hadn't you would've been labeled, stereotyped, misjudged, rejected, and hated
for being a rapist
Others wouldn't judge you so harshly just see you as mean
What you did was wrong
but somehow forgiveable
Now I wonder, did I still make the right decision?
I think I did, but now I'm not so sure
Now I know the truth
I almost wish I didn't.
I loved you once
I love you still
actually, no I don't
Not since I've begun to move on
I will never hate you for very long
I can't,
You are ! and always have been a true friend
Sadly, that's all we will ever be
Yet somehow I'm okay with that now
as are you
We met two years ago and became fast friends
4 months after Joey died we became lovers
Four months later we are just friends once again,
Closer yet further away from each other than we've ever been,
Yet we've managed through the turmoil and destruction, to finally move on with our lives.

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