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Heidi Yang

What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am,
I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold-Cold written by Crossfade

How could I be so cold?
I swore I would never hurt anyone like this
I think I'm slipping and I need you to help me get my fucking life back
My last moral fiber has slipped through my grasp
I cheated on you
I swear never meant to you
I doubt you will listen to what I have to say
I can imagine it now,
You are siting there staring there with a blank look on your face
After it's all over you will kill me
Go ahead, I don't care anymore
Make it so I am no longer this sinner that I don't even know anymore
What the hell happened to me?
I changed, but I thought it was for the best
Now I know better,
"I was just fooling myself," (I kept saying in my head)
I never meant for it to end this way
I brought about my own destruction
It's not your fault
If anything you have kept sane,
"When the cat's away the mouse will play," (they always say)
Do with me what you will
I want to shed this evil skin and become the innocent naive person I once was
I know that's not possible
I'm down on my knees beggin' please, help me
Save me from myself
I'm going off the deep end
I don't want to live this life anymore
I hate what I've become,
A selfish bitch
Yes, I admit it, yet you knew this all along
I'm always honest with you, why don't you have courage to be honest with me?
Perhaps you were only joking
But this isn't a joke anymore
I have to change,
I think this is what they're talking about when they refer to being awakened to beginning to change
I have to change before I hurt anyone else too deeply
I've already hurt you more than I could have ever imagined
I can only hope you can forgive me
At the very least not hold a grudge
"I'm so sorry Doug, if it makes you feel any better I deserve to to die for what I did to you." (it will only be a matter of time before I say these words to you)
No one should have to go through this shit
I've brought upon both of us
I have to try fix everything again
I was afraid that this would happen
That there would be a "last straw that would break the camel's back" (as you once told me)
I am that last straw
For that I am truly sorry,
What I really meant to say was I'm sorry for the way I am, I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold.

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