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The Interrupted Tryst


Harry Buschman

Don Portfolio, that devil! He has been caught again! En flagrant!... as we say in the forest of the Ardennes, and this time with the raven haired Countess Bovril! What will the Count say? Mon Dieu! The scandal that will ensue...

It would not be so bad if that wicked blond hussy, Baroness Provolone hadn’t trailed the loving pair through the forest, and when they reached this romantic clearing... then, at that precise moment of truth, when neither love bird could deny the purpose of the tryst... again! Double Mon Dieu!! She appeared; microphone in one hand, digital camera in the other.

“Smile,” she cackled! “You’re on candid camera!”

“Oh m’gawd!” The countess shrieked and reached for her camisole. Don Portfolio, drew his sword and, standing in his polka dotted shorts, exhibited a mock courage he did not entirely feel.

“Baroness,” he shouted in a quavery voice. “The camera or your life!”

The Baroness exploded in a witch like laugh. “The camera! The camera! Ha!!... Do you think I would be so stupid as to think a photograph would do?” She held the small instrument high. “The world has moved on, Don Portfolio! This is a cingular Motorola RAZR voice and picture phone. I have Count Bovril on the line. Would you care to say hello... eye to eye, Don Portfolio?” The Don dropped his sword and removed his hat. Baroness Provolone turned to Countess Bovril and offered the phone to her. “Care to say hello to your husband, dear?”

The Countess took the phone gently and stared into the apoplectic face of the count... “Don Portfolio has just been showing me where the dragon bit him... have you had a hard day at the office, dear?”

the end

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