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On the Other Hand

by

Harry Buschman

I am a right-handed person. I consider myself fortunate to be right-handed because I live in a right-handed world. My camera is made for a right-handed person; so is my meat grinder and my 5-speed stick shift lies comfortably within reach of my right hand.

Right-handedness, (in my opinion) is an acquired condition. It is one we inherited from the lower animals, whom, as everyone Iím sure will agree, are right-footed Ė or winged Ė or finned Ė or whatever.

By nature all of us are left-handed, and I think it's a problem we inherited from Adam. Oh yes! Adam was left-handed; didn't you know that? God, on the other hand was right-handed. Proof? of course there's proof! Stand in the Sistine Chapel and look up at the Creation on the ceiling. God extends his right hand and Adam reaches for it with his left. Even if itís not proof for everyone, itís proof enough for me! It was probably the first mistake Adam made, he made others to be sure, but I suspect they stem from his left-handedness.

On that indelible sixth day God said to himself, "Well that ought to do it Ė the rest is up to them." Had He taken a closer look, He would have noticed Adam was a left-hander and headed for trouble down the primrose path.

I never noticed it myself until that afternoon in the nave of the Sistine Chapel. As my wife and I stood looking up at the ceiling we had an epiphany. It was one of many epiphanies we had together in Italy. This one was memorable because it occurred as my pocket was being picked and my wife was being sexually congratulated in the Roman manner. At that precise moment, we both noticed Adam was left-handed.

We checked out Moses at St. Peterís. He holds the tablets in his right hand; he was obviously left-handed. You see, if he was right-handed he would have held them in his left hand to leave his right hand free to write. Meanwhile, David, in Florence holds the stone in his right hand and the sling in his left ... obviously a left-hander.

Who decided to change all that?

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