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My life – a speculation
Dr Riaz Ahmad Raja
Amid trials and tribulations my life flows,
Akin to a candle in the hurricane it glows,
Caught in violent eddies flutters its flame,
Start and a finish, how wondrous it came!
A rudderless canoe at the clemency of waves,
Or a tireless eagle set on conflicts that braves,
Dithering shall stay my biography in advance,
Lure and hang-up and then my endless dance!
The reality in earnest or a speculation ’twas,
A growth from want to want, a tumult ’twas,
Hard learning, crossroads and bridges along,
Which to burn? Which way I must go along?
My whole life’s a stir and my emotions strong,
My fantasy or adoration but whereto I belong?
My inanity or pleasure I knew nought my goal,
Lost in the flurry of throng I famished my soul.
What? A power or a mixture of bliss and sorrow,
Dangled ’twixt the two eternities I didn’t follow,
The complexities of maze which were too secure,
Too tame, too prosaic, intriguing but verily sure!
A continuous poem, a blossom or an oasis in life,
How bare and unfruitful, dry and weary of strife!
The unexamined lingered far-off and so the near,
Animosity blossomed as unveiled a face so dear!
An opportunity or a business in continuous flow,
Marvelous and grand yet ’twas shallow and low,
Wearing down my nerves, what a baffling thing!
Kisses from death ah I watched the fall in spring.
My soul was slashed and the depths lay exposed,
Unshared passions and the enigmas undisclosed,
All a dark forest and in the battle I was engaged,
Cruelly bruised and scathed and never assuaged.
I had voyaged in the world of values or my soul,
Now existing then not existing, whither my roll?
Who divides? Who unites? A triumph or defeat!
A thunderous reply! Just speculation and deceit!
September 27, 2005
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