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Pensleys Letter
by
Daniel W Kneip
"Regarding the strange mallard often seen in the backyard, I can't be more audible in my regard that he is, indeed, and undeniably, a true freak of nature." And this is how Pensley started his letter to the headmaster.
No "Dear, Sir," or "Hi" or "Wanna hear sumtin, crazy??" Just cut to the chase - that was Pensley's way. And certainly why he was the head butler on the estate. But even head butlers answer to someone, and not just the master of the property. It was Pensley's duty to correspond bi-weekly with the agency responsible for employing "the help", himself included. And Pensley thought they ought to know about the mallard.
"Strange that, in as many days as I can remember, the duck seems to be
afraid of the water. I noted this, one clear afternoon, as I waddled away
my time by the pond. This duck, true blue in color with a very nice
neckband of white, would approach the water, cautiously, but never
further. When I, after finding myself quite bemused, tried to push the
duck in the pond, the feathered beast tried to bite me! That is to say,
if one relies on teeth for biting, this duck had six and I saw them
clearly with my own two eyes!"
Pensley rested his pen and reread his thought - which was wholly unbelievable and any recourse, which was sure to thunder down, would not affect the duck, as was the hope of Pensley, but Pensley himself.
"They might think me a madman!" he said, pensively, before adding to his note.
"This bird also, I cannot insist further, was wearing women's slippers!
Some thoughts later, I figured this must be the reason the duck was not
entering the water."
And even after he wrote that, Pensley couldn't quite believe it. Such far
fetched notions would never merit respect! But he didn't care! That duck
WAS wearing slippers and the headmaster needed to know!
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