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In For A Chop Chop


Daniel W Kneip

She was a "hair shepherd," or more formally, the barbershop hag who greeted customers and swept the floors during slow times.

"But I prefer to be known as the hair shepherd," she would always say.

And most of the customers would smile and nod and look at their watches and hope to goodness she didn't talk to them again. And on this particular day, when business was slow and the rain pitter-pattered outside on the lazy sidewalk and the barber was twiddling his scissors, and the hair shepherd was filing "hair samples" or more formally, hair that had been cut off of people's heads and was on the ground ready for the trash bin, there was the very wonderful chime of the front door gong! All eyes averted their tasks to see an astonishingly beautiful woman enter the barbershop, a mink over her shoulders, and a twinkler on her
finger and maybe she had a very good reason for entering the store.

"I'm in need of a chop-chop," she said.

The barber quickly hopped to his feet, brushed his best seat and awaited her arrival. And the hag did her best not to question the beautiful woman's intentions, but to take her name and reserve the best seat in the

"It's Katherine, with a 'C'," the woman gleamed, her wonderful eyes piercing everything they saw.

"Fine," offered the hag. "The wait right now is two seconds."

"That'll be fine." And Catherine waited and then the barber happily escorted her to the throne, draped a towel over her front and asked kindly, "Now, Madam, how should we cut yer hair today?"

"Oh!" she screamed. "Not MY hair, you fool. My mink stole! Just a trim around the tail, if you please."

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