I don't know why it is

That I am the way that I am

But I pour my soul through this pen

Cause I want you to understand

This cold man inside

Is not as frigid as you think

Just alone and scared

And standing on the brink

Do I step forward

And fall headlong to my past

Smoke, drink, and steal

All of the things I never had

Seek in lonely desperation

For a vice that makes me feel good

Party like a wild man

You people loved me then

And so I probably should

I lost a little luster

Lost my appeal

When I stopped not giving a damn

And I started to feel

All the things I have done

Have done nothing to kill the pain

Just muted it

Allowed it to intensify

And return some other day

The alcohol couldn't kill it

And neither could the drugs

And all the carnal knowledge

Just never seemed enough

I've grown tired of causing pain to others

Simply to alleviate my own

I'm facing the world

With no crutches for once

This sure is a lonely road.