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What If

by

Cinnamon Brown

Every now and then I sit down and think about all the things that I should have could have and would have done.

I think about the time that I ran away from home when I was 14, I wonder what would have happened if I had kept going like I had planned too. Maybe I would’ve have been a Vegas showgirl or maybe I would have just been a homeless junkie begging for change in the middle of Times Square . I think about the time I changed my major from Political Science to Human Resources would I have been a Political fire starter or maybe I would have just been an over opinionated over educated receptionist. What if I didn’t volunteer at every charities functions and collect money that I don’t make in a year for people who probably wouldn’t appreciate the time and energy that it took for me to get dressed for the function never mind the energy it took to attend. Would I have been called apathetic or would I be just doing what the majority of folks do. And how about leaving my Job, my home, my family, my life, my everything in my birth state to come to a place even more judgmental than me. If I had stayed would I be sitting here writing this unorganized chain of BS or would I be at the café watching the man across the room. Maybe I would be attending one of my step-mothers lovely church functions or maybe I would be looking at my own reflection knowing myself.

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