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Woman 2 Woman


Cinnamon Brown

(Part 6)

At this point I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I could just stay in Syracuse for 2 days in a motel while I cleared my head or I could drive all the way back home and deal with Kevin face to face like a real woman. I dragged my cigarette really hard and threw it to the ground. I walked for a while then decided to go home I drove which allowed me to recollect my memories, the reasons why I loved Kevin. The drive back to NYC would prepare me for what was about to happen next. I had to go home I was running from reality and that was not my style. Daddy told me to face my fears make them back down don't let them make you. With that thought embedded in my mind I walked back to Tia's house. Her car was not in the drive-way. I assumed I had pissed her off so she left. There was a note on my windshield.

Dear Naomi:
When you decide to pull yourself out of the stratosphere you know how to reach me. I love you look at all the sides in this situation. You and Kevin are the only examples of true love I have ever seen. Not even my parents share what you guys have. Think then act.

Love you to pieces.

I did love Tia to pieces she was right she knew me sometimes better than I knew myself. I realized that I needed to go home and face the music. I got in my car this time I turned on Mary J. Blige's "My Life" album. I listened to it the entire way home.

Kevin's Maxima was still in front of our building. I knew he had been in the house all day. I climbed out of the my truck and headed towards the door . I counted to 10 backwards and then unlocked the door. Kevin was sitting on the floor in living room with pictures and a notebook. I acted like 10 hours ago we did not have an altercation. " Hey Kev. Whatcha doing?"

I was trying to be calm I was trying to work it out to find out where we went wrong I loved Kevin I didn't want him out of my life. Kevin looked up at me his eyes were swollen and red I knew he had been crying that made me sad I had only seen him cry at his mother's funeral. I kneeled down next to him he placed his head on my shoulder. All anger left and I started to cry. "Naomi, I am creating a time-line I figured it would be a way to show you what happened rather than try to explain this way you can create a mental picture sort of like a movie. I know it sounds a little whacked but I need you to understand"

I just clenched my teeth together waiting to hear the explanation. The first picture was 5 years ago when we were newly in love. We were happy. Kevin saw me smile and turned the page to 2 years later and there was a picture of me reading a book, the next picture was of me and 2 co-workers in California, the next few pictures were pictures of me by myself in NC, Syracuse, Virginia.

Then Kevin turned to a page where there were pictures of him alone, pictures of him and his friends in the recording studio. I closed the book and looked at Kevin. Kevin put his head down." See Naomi you eliminated me from the picture a long time ago, Your job became your life Miss Training and Recruiting going all over the world to recruit. I missed you I was lonely. I tried to give you a little more of me but I started losing myself. Men need attention just as much as women do. I am not saying what I did was right in fact I know it was wrong I just need us to get beyond this start over. Take all the time you need. Naomi I can't give up". I turned to the next page in the photo album to a picture Kevin and a Puerto Rican Girl at Coney Island in Brooklyn. I turned to him wondering what that was all about. I knew he had an explanation I was ready to hear it....

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