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Cheryl McNeil

I stood and watched you love me today,
in just the same way I did yesterday.
You stood and waited for me to love you today,
as you've waited and waited and waited again.
I stood and watched you love me today,
and I wished I could love you in the same way.
My heart says, 'love him today, it's easy.
Open your eyes and see, he's everything you need.'
My mind says 'love him today he's good and kind,
of sound mind, and he would never never leave.'
I stood and watched you love me today, smiling across a noisy bar,
meeting my eyes for a second before I turn away.
I sat and watched you love me today,
in a cinema with guns and car chases and a smile on your face.
I sat and tried to love you today, quietly on a car journey,
full of conversations about the books we've read
and things that go through our heads.
I took your hand today as we ran across a street;
laughs and fun, I tried to remember how we were when we were young.
I looked at you today and realised things are different,
no longer eighteen and children we're adults now with real feelings.
I heard you say you love me today, three words that sealed our fate,
the words that now I'm terrified will cause you to hate.
I stood and watched you cry today, I stood and watched you hurt,
love that you give but I can't return,
love that I do not deserve and that I did not earn.
I stood and feared I'd lost you today, lost in way I could never mend,
the world is wrong and I'm in pain, I've lost my best friend.
I tried and tried to call you today, the ringing going on and on,
and now I'm terrified that that's it, you're gone.
I sit and watch you today, months have gone by,
you're not the person I remember, but now neither am I.
I sit and watch you silently today, and long for moments lost,
moments in a bar, a car, a cinema, but what I really long for is your trust.
I sit and wait for you to love me again, for hurt and hate to disappear,
so we can do nothing but be near.
I stand and wait for you, I sit and wait here,
and never has anything been so clear.
I stand and watch you today, I watch to see that man,
the one I stood and watched love me,
I need to find him, I pray I can.
You see I need you to stand and watch me today, watch me love you!

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