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Goodbye
by
Tammi Langley
I said goodbye to you on a day that was
just like any other. I woke up, went to work, and came home as my usual
routine demanded. When my stomach growled to alarm me of the fast approaching
dinner hour, I decided to go out to eat.
Dining alone is a humbling experience, but not for obvious reasons.
Walking into a restaurant to request a table for one is simple. Stepping past
couples that are enjoying a romantic evening together is effortless. Reaching
the table, choosing one of the many empty seats, and taking a seat alone is
painless. It is the menu that hurts the most.
Spaghetti marinara is a classic dish. It is
comfortable and familiar. The taste is always recognizable, regardless of how
the chef prepares it. I can depend on spaghetti marinara to satisfy me, much
like the way you did. You were my classic, comfortable, and familiar dish.
You were recognizable and dependable. You were my spaghetti marinara.
I sat in my chair staring blankly at the menu placed neatly on the table
before me. I was terrified to look inside. The anticipation of the endless
dinner choices would taunt me the minute I opened the menu. All at once, the
terror of choosing a meal was overwhelming. I was afraid that I would not enjoy
another meal, the way that I enjoyed you.
Perhaps the fettuccini would disagree with me. Maybe I would not like the angel
hair pesto. Possibly the pasta primavera would be unavailable. The
spaghetti marinara, however, would be a secure selection. I would be safe
choosing the spaghetti, because I was safe staying with you.
Hesitantly I opened the menu. I glanced through the long list of entrees, each with their appealing descriptions attempting to entice me. I realized that no matter my dinner choice, I would not go hungry. I would not fall into a pit of despair if I chose to try something new. It would not kill me to stray from my customary spaghetti marinara, and it would not kill me to say goodbye to you.
After the waiter took my order, I sat calmly at the table, and glanced at my reflection in the window. I was still smiling at myself when the waiter placed the dish of tortellini Alfredo within my reach. I closed my eyes as I took my first taste, and I said goodbye to you.
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