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Feelings of Fear - Melissa DeMedio

 
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Linda
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Joined: 14 Jan 2004
Posts: 1024
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:15 am    Post subject: Feelings of Fear - Melissa DeMedio Reply with quote

Good work, Melissa. I am by nature a lyricist, so I loved your rhythm and rhyme scheme. I have a few suggestions. Try to omit "the's and that's". They really aren't necessary or appropriate in this poem. You'll have to change a few of the other words to keep the meter, but it will be worth the effort, and Id work on the 4th stanza. It doesn't read quite as well as the others. Play with it a bitIm certain you'll enjoy your revisions.

Excellent job!

Linda
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